


Admission

by sarahsharpe1231



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 05:35:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18423921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahsharpe1231/pseuds/sarahsharpe1231
Summary: Quentin needed to put a stop to this before it even started. And if that meant having Alice be the first person he told, so be it. (Spec fic for 4x12.)





	Admission

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god, my first Magicians fic. (Although I can't say I haven't written hundreds in my head that I just never wrote down prior to this.) And, yes, I DO realize it's been FOREVER since I posted anything. I'm SO SORRY! I'm a little rusty and THOROUGHLY apologize!!!
> 
> The reason I NEEDED to get this down on paper though, is because...like all Queliot shippers...the trailer for 4x12 infuriated the hell out of me. This is my "THIS NEEDS TO BE WHAT HAPPENS IN THAT SCENE BECAUSE IF IT'S NOT, I WILL SMASH MY TV" spec fic. Like at this point...it's about nothing more than Q and Eliot being AMAZING for each other and Q and Alice being the definition of toxic.
> 
> Q and Eliot make each other's lives better just by being in them. Eliot is Q's source of light, comfort, and hope. Q is Eliot's source of love, bravery, and happiness. They need each other. Period.
> 
> Now...sorry to break it to you...but I'm an Alice hater. I've hated her with a burning passion since seeing what she did in 3x13. Like Q said in 4x05, nothing she can do will make me forgive her. That being said...I needed to be truthful to what the show IS showing us...so I forced myself to sympathize with her in order to write this. Nothing has ever pained me more.
> 
> Like I said above, I'm SUPER rusty and this is BY FAR not my best work and Queliot deserves SO much better...but maybe I'll be able to think more clearly when I'm not writing out of sheer anger...and when they're finally together and happy.

“And now Julia is possessed and I don’t know if we’re gonna be able to—”

Alice leaned toward Quentin and pressed her lips to his. After spending that precious hour with Quentin from the past, she realized how much she missed him. She realized how much she missed _them_. She swore she was able to put everything behind her. They had both been through a lot of shit and they were both different people and they both knew that moving on would be what was best for both of them—but being reminded of how Quentin used to feel about her…she had to admit…it brought back all those old feelings. With everything seemingly spiraling out of control and getting worse by the minute—aside from trying to calm Quentin down—she thought this would be the only moment to find out if he had been reminded of any of his old feelings, as well.

Muscle memory. Quentin reciprocated the kiss for a moment…but he suddenly backed away. After processing what just happened, Alice straightened her posture and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” Quentin said.

“Don’t be,” Alice said—trying to force herself to be nonchalant about this. “You made yourself clear when I came back to help you with The Monster. We’re done.”

“I know that… _past-me_ …must’ve brought back a lot of memories,” Quentin said. “Seeing past-you did for me, too.”

“Not enough to change anything, I see,” Alice responded.

Quentin saw that Alice was holding back tears. ‘You are the _best thing_ that’s ever happened to me,’ she told him. He knew what he was about to say was going to break her heart. She had betrayed them and caused unspeakable damage—but with all their own history, she deserved to know the truth. Someone did.

“Alice, that…that wasn’t the first time I had gone to the past,” Quentin started.

“What?” Alice asked.

“When we were on the quest, looking for the time key…I went to the past—Fillory’s past,” Quentin said. “I spent 50 years there working on The Mosaic. I had a wife and a son…and Eliot. We grew old. And died. And even though we spent everyday working on that damn puzzle…I had never been happier…because I had Eliot. And…even though Margo got the key from Jane Chatwin and stopped us from leaving, somehow…we still have these memories and all I know is…the love of my life…it’s not you, Alice. It’s Eliot. And I am _so sorry_ to tell you that.”

Alice looked down and nodded her head. She forced a tight-lipped smile when her eyes met Quentin’s again.

“Well, I guess the least I can do is continue to make sure you don’t get yourself killed trying to save him,” she said, “and Julia.”

Quentin stared at her with remorseful, wide eyes.

“We have to warn Zelda and Kady,” Alice continued as she got up from the bar stool. “Excuse me.”

“Alice, wait!” Quentin called after her.

She was already out the door before he could find the energy to stand up. All of a sudden, Quentin heard heels slowly making their way down the stairs. He turned himself toward the counter and gave the bridge of his nose a quick, exasperated squeeze.

“How much did you hear?” he asked.

Margo walked up behind Quentin and wrapped her arms around him.

“Enough,” she said before softly kissing his temple. “Honey, I’m so sorry.”

Quentin turned around to face her. Margo let her hands fall down to his forearms and began rubbing them.

“You know after you brought us back to Fillory,” Quentin said, “and we started remembering…I asked him if he wanted to…try again.”

“And he turned you down,” Margo responded.

Quentin didn’t even need to ask how she knew. The two of them knew each other better than anyone else did—better than he ever could.

“Why?” he asked.

“Why do you think, Q?” Margo retorted. “Because he thinks he doesn’t deserve happiness, dumbass.”

Quentin looked up at Margo. He knew she was right. He knew how self-sabotaging Eliot could be.

“Listen,” she continued. “If there’s one thing I know, it’s this. He’s been waiting for you. Through Mike…and Fen…and Idri… The day you arrived at Brakebills…was the best day of his life. Sometimes I think the only reason Eliot thought Fillory could save him…is because he knew it saved you.”

“Why does it feel like everything I’ve done, though, has just made things worse?” Quentin asked. “I killed Ember to save Fillory and I got magic turned off. I try to bring it back and end up just losing the two people I love the most! I mean how is that fair—”

“Hey!” Margo interrupted. “We haven’t lost them yet. I refuse to believe that.”

And god, Quentin wanted to, as well. More than anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, also, this ends SUPER abruptly because the episode's LITERALLY about to air and I PROMISED myself I would get this up before it did. SORRY!


End file.
